Trends are funny things, aren't they? Not so! They, if viewed with an entrepreneurial eye, are great opportunities to jump on board and make some real money. Why is it that all the old historical romance novels with their Fabio-adorned covers are sitting on the shelves of bookstores. I mean, the man is positively tearing the bodice off of the model on the cover. Have people lost their interest in bodices being forcibly removed from the female frame?
Yes they have. Today's romance reader has matured. They want nothing to do with some moldy old bodice and bodies that, let's face it, have probably not had a good dunk in a tub full of soapy water for two or three fortnights. Today's romance reader would much rather see a leather vest torn off from the bodacious bod of a sexy vampiress by, I don't know, a werewolf or a creature from some black lagoon or something. This new genre, often referred to as Paranormal Romance, is sweeping the country.
We here at 30lb Dog are excited to announce our contribution to this exciting genre with an exciting new series: Ghost Fuckers. If there's one lesson we've learned from the popularity of Paranormal Romance, it's that sex with a ghost is hot, hot, hot. As a special treat to readers of this blog, an excerpt from the first novel in the Ghost Fuckers series, The Haunting of Drusilla's Naughty Parts:
"Boo!" came the voice behind her, startling her in such a manner that caused her love muscle to become engorged with blood. Drusilla turned to face the form that appeared behind her. He was a magnificent sight, with long hair and a blousy shirt unbuttoned to the naval. He was also glowing white and kind of see-through.
"Goodness," she said. "You startled me. What is your name and what business have you skulking about my chamber in the middle of the night?"
"My name is Umberto," said the figure, "and my business is entirely with you."
"The doors are locked. How did you get inside?"
"I have no need of doors. For you see, I am a ghost. I died on a roller coaster when a bird struck my face."
"How horrible!"
"Yes. And embarrassing. But enough about that. I have known your soul for a long time, Drusilla. I've followed it. I also like the way that leather vest squeezes your boobs."
"If only I had known you when you were alive," said Drusilla.
"There is no need for sadness. Fortunately, I died when my beauty was at its peak."
"I'll say," she said, caressing his hairless, well-defined, and ultimately see-through pecks with her hand. After appreciating their firmness for a moment, she then traced a path down toward his trim waist. "Ooh, she cooed. "I did not realize it were possible for a ghost to have six-pack abs."
"That feels very good, Drusilla," Umberto said in his heavy accent. He tossed his head back, swaying his lustrous mane of spectral hair. "Don't stop."
"I've got a confession to make, Umberto. I've never done it with a ghost before. Is it more like the movie The Entity or more like the movie Ghost? Umberto? Are you even listening to me? And what's this on my wrist all of a sudden? Ectoplasm?"
"That's not ectoplasm," Umberto purred.
Pretty hot, huh? That is just a sample of what you can look forward to when the Ghost Fuckers series hits the shelves. Look for it in fine bookstores everywhere.
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